I’ll tell ya Annie, one of these days, you listenin’? One of these day’s we’ll get out of this Godless place. We’ll go so far they’ll just give up and stop looking for us, you hear me? A place so far away where it’s just you and me, imagine it. And theres a sea there, and you’ll be smellin’ the salt in the air, and our skin will be brown and our hair will be kissed gentle by the settin’ Sun. You’ll be wearin’ that sweet perfume for no other reason than you know I Love it, and I’ll have my chest out, see? And we’ll just lay there for a while. Just starin’ out into the nothin’ess. Oh and it’s shining on us all the way from the heavens Annie! And guess what? Whoever or whatever is up there, hell they’ll be lookin’ down on us, and they’ll be screamin’! You hear me? They’ll be looking down on us and heck they’ll be screamin’ so loud but smilin’ Annie, smilin’ that wide smile. ‘Cos they’ll know that what we’re doin’ down here is cheatin’, you see? They’ll be lookin’ down dizzy ‘cos all they’ll be seein’ is heaven on this sweet Earth. Imagine it for a second Annie, thats somethin’ aint it? Heck thats something worth livin’ for.

I was sitting down on the muck when I looked down at my jeans, brushing off the dust that covered them. Then I watched as a small winged creature walked across my arm. I watched it as it would get each of its legs stuck in between my hairs. I’d help it along for a few, and then it would get stuck again. After that I got bored and I gently moved him on. Id been there for the past hour, maybe two. The Sun was peaking its head over the horizon. And the sky was that brilliant pink with specks of purple and grey. And the light was covering everything for miles. You could see the faces glowing with a hue that you could only picture when you dream. Serious faces with deep lined frowns but smiles that appeared with ease in the corner of the lips when your eyes meet for the first time. In my right hand I was holding a small statue of Ganesh. It was gold in colour and had been made by hand, I was told. It felt old and I could feel how warm the metal was, pressing against each finger, I must have been holding on tightly. It felt good there, good enough so that I closed my eyes and stopped looking for a moment.

I know people are looking for me. I think this time I’ve found a way to be so far away that its finally made them give up on me. Maybe they will try again tomorrow. But then again, maybe they won’t. And then I thought of how I got here, so far from home. I thought about the people who would miss me, I wondered what they would be saying about me. And I’d sit there like that, trying to remember it all, but sometimes the shapes of the faces would fade away. You try and picture them, but all you can see is this faint brown dusty outline, and inside its dark and hollow, and in there, it would sound like static, the kind your TV makes when there’s no channel. When it would get this way, I’d get frustrated and so I’d stop remembering, and I’d start busying myself with the forgetting. And maybe somewhere in there, somewhere along the line, I forgot who I was.

So I’d open my eyes again, there was an ocean in front of me and there were strangers everywhere. I could hear the waves in the distance. Then a couple walked over to my right, taking photos of each other against the setting Sun, holding one another, tightly, and smiling. So I smiled at them for a while. Its difficult to forget what you can’t describe in words. I see it all around me. Like a plague spreading its wings across the land at the speed of a wildfire that you can’t escape.

By now the Sun had left, and as I looked across the water. Reflected on the surface was the shining white light of the dancing Moon. Rippling across the water as it has done, forever? I suppose. And it felt peaceful that. Knowing the Moon was with me. How She has always been there. An unchanging constant that never leaves you. Up there alone. With billions of yearning blue eyes staring at Her surface and sharing their secrets. And beyond the safety of the white light were the stars. Each like a faint life begging to be seen, and they were screaming that night. “Hey I’m here! Look up! Look up!” But I didn’t hear them, I couldn’t hear them scream. I can’t remember the last time I did.

Then I looked down, and I saw dust everywhere. Somewhere along the way, it got so bad that with each step I had walked, the more it wound itself around me like a slithering snake sidewinding its way upward and past my boots, around one leg and up and onto my sweaty white shirt, until it finally reached my shoulders where it stayed for a moment, and it made a gentle hissing sound there. Like dancing sand crystals scraping across the surface of a Desert floor. Soon it was all over me, and it was heavy, and it was blinding me until eventually, I couldn’t see where I was going. I think that’s why I couldn’t find my way home anymore. And maybe that’s why I couldn’t remember anymore. Because I wasn’t me anymore. I’d let the dust collect on me for so long that eventually that’s all anyone could see of me. And people are always brushing that away, aren’t they? And so I wondered if anyone cared, or if they just had been playing a game the whole time. It was hard to tell.

Then finally, I wondered how much dust everyone else was carrying. So I looked across at the couple next to me. I could tell he was excited about something. And I think her name was Annie, I overheard him earlier. And then I noticed something on their shoulders, glistening faintly against the moonlight. “El Camino de Mi Alma”, the snake would sing hissingly with its wide smile into their ears. See you can’t hear its song until you know the words, that was the problem. I thought about telling them for a while. But I couldn’t do it, So I didn’t do it. I couldn’t be the one to take their smile away. So I did what everyone else had done so far, I looked away and I kept brushing the dust away.